The Key to successful training: building a strong relationship with your dog

Building a strong relationship with our dogs is not just about companionship; it forms the foundation for effective training and mutual understanding. Just like in human relationships, setting fair boundaries and expectations is crucial for a harmonious interaction. When we establish a relationship based on trust and respect, we create a framework where our dogs can learn what behaviours are appropriate and which ones are not.

Trust Through Fair Boundaries
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In any relationship, boundaries are essential. They provide a clear structure for interaction and ensure that both parties understand what is expected of them. With our dogs, setting fair boundaries means guiding them gently but firmly towards desirable behaviours. 

When giving a command, it's important to do so clearly, with confidence. This means you're not asking your dog to do something; you're telling them! A strong bond is built when your dog looks to you for guidance, showing they trust your direction. If your dog doesn't follow the command, guide them into the position you asked for on the first try, ensuring clarity without needing a second attempt or treat. I always encourage clients to communicate with their dogs using the firm, fast, and fair method. By using the 3 F’s—Fast, Firm, and Fair—you can effectively guide your dog, building a strong and trusting bond.

The Fast, Firm and Fair Method

Fast:
Timing is everything. When your dog doesn’t behave the way you want, respond quickly so they know exactly what you're addressing. This is true for both good and bad behaviour—catching the moment ensures your dog connects their actions with your response. If you're slow, they might not understand why you're stepping in.

Firm:
Communicating with confidence and clarity is key. I don’t negotiate or plead with my dog; I tell them what to do. Being firm means setting expectations, not asking for them. Your dog should know that when you give a command, you mean it. It's about being clear and confident without crossing into harshness—firm doesn’t mean unfair, just no room for confusion.

Fair:
Fairness is context-dependent. I won’t correct a dog for not following a command they haven’t learned, but if my dog knows "sit" and ignores me, I will follow through and guide them into the position. There’s no option for a second try or treat at that moment. Being fair means balancing the consequence with the situation—like at work, where your boss would correct a small mistake without extreme measures, but a serious offense would lead to more significant action. By keeping things proportionate, you build trust and a healthy relationship with your dog.

Correcting Behaviour with Compassion

Correcting behaviour is another aspect where a strong relationship comes into play. As a trainer who works with a variety of dogs, it is not my place to correct your dog because there is no established relationship between us. Correction, when necessary, should come from someone the dog trusts and respects—usually the owner. There are exceptions to this rule, particularly in situations where I perceive a danger to others. In such cases, I may step in, but this typically involves dogs that are confident enough to handle the correction without it damaging their trust.

It saddens me to hear from clients who have previously worked with trainers who lacked the patience to guide them through the training process and instead resorted to harsh corrections. Often, these corrections are delivered to nervous dogs who are already struggling with anxiety. The result is heartbreaking: a dog who is "shut down," cowering in fear and unwilling to work. This approach not only damages the dog’s trust but also hinders their ability to learn and grow.

Play as a Relationship Building and Bonding Tool

Play is a powerful tool for building relationships with our dogs. Games like tug-of-war and fetch not only provide physical exercise but also teach important lessons in impulse control and obedience. Before engaging in play, it's beneficial to ensure that our dogs demonstrate self-control and stop when asked. This reinforces their understanding of boundaries and enhances their responsiveness to commands during playtime.

Looking Forward: The Importance of Continuous Learning

As a dog trainer, I am constantly seeking new knowledge and techniques to improve my relationship with dogs. I am excited to attend a seminar this month focusing on play, where I hope to deepen my understanding of how play can further strengthen the bond between dogs and handlers. I will share my reflections in another post!

A Lifelong Partnership

By nurturing a strong relationship with our dogs, we cultivate loyalty and cooperation. A well-trained dog who respects boundaries is not only a joy to be around, but also a reliable companion. When dogs trust that we have their best interests at heart and will guide them safely, they are more willing to follow our lead. Ultimately, investing in our relationship with our dogs pays off in loyalty, obedience, and a deep bond that enriches both our lives.

Building a relationship with our dogs based on trust, fair boundaries, and constructive play is not just about training; it's about fostering a partnership that lasts a lifetime.

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